When Your Husband's Mistress Won't Back Off

I recently received an email from a wife who was at her wit's end with her husband's former mistress. The husband was insisting that he was now committed to the wife and the marriage and they were working very hard to save the marriage. However, the mistress just seemed unwilling to let the husband go. She would drive by the house, continue to call both the wife and husband and hang up, send emails, and send messages on their face book accounts.

They wanted to get rid of this woman once and for all but she didn't seem to be getting the message. The wife wanted to my advice as to how to get the mistress to back off so that she could get her life back and get to work on saving her marriage. She just wanted to be left alone. I'll tell you what I told her in the following article.

Telling The Mistress Very Plainly To Back Off And Then Not Responding To Her Again: It's not always the case, but sometimes the mistress hangs on because the husband has not made himself crystal clear. Of course, he will tell the wife that he's been very direct. But, the mistress might see things a bit differently. She may take little nuggets of what your husband is saying and turn them around so that they are saying exactly what she wants him to say.

When Your Husband's Mistress Won't Back Off

In this case, it's best to make sure that the husband is very clear in one last message. I often advise that the wife listens in on the phone call, which should be very short. Basically, I felt that the husband should pick up the next time the mistress called and tell her that she was not to contact, follow, drive by, or attempt to engage either him or his wife. If the mistress tried to interrupt, the husband was just to respond that if she continued on, they would have to take legal action and that this was the last time the two of them would communicate. The husband was then to hang up and to not engage with her no matter what.

Once The Message Has Been Delivered, Refuse To Engage With The Mistress: Sometimes, this firm message won't be enough to get the mistress to back off. She will often try to test this to see if the husband really meant what he said. But here's the thing, the more you engage with her and the more she makes you angry and frustrated, the more she thinks that she has won. Her whole goal is to make you and your husband place your focus on her rather than each other. Do not let her do this.

Block her number and her texts on your phone. Block her email. Tell your provider that she is spam. Ignore her completely if you can. Pretend that she doesn't exist. Every time you respond to her and engage her, she just makes this process go on for much longer than it should. Eventually, she will get the message that you have moved on and that you have left no place for her in your life. She will usually eventually turn her attention elsewhere since she is no longer getting the pay off that she feeds off of.

Leave Any Actions That Are Necessary To The Professionals: Never fight with the mistress. Never allow her to bait you into an altercation. I've had readers who have had no choice but to send the mistress a certified letter and to tell her that if she continues on, they will get a restraining order. (You want this in writing so you have a paper trail that you have done nothing wrong and have tried to address this.)

Whatever you do, don't stoop down to her level. Don't let her win. If she just will not stop, you may have to involve the authorities. That is their job. Let them do it. But, the more that you allow for her to carry on like this, the more she feeds on the process. Her greatest fear is that the two of you move on together and have no place for her in your life anymore. Her "not backing off" is her attempt to weasel her way back in.

But you have control over how you react to her. The best course of action is often to make your position (and your husband's) crystal clear and then to pull out of the game knowing that she will eventually get the message. If she doesn't, then leave this to the professionals. Do not try to deal with her yourself. The less you allow her into your life, the better off you are.

When Your Husband's Mistress Won't Back Off
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I know that even contemplating your husband's mistress is painful and difficult, but make sure that you don't give her more power than she deserves. And, healing is often closer than you may think. It took a lot of work and patience, but today my marriage is actually stronger than it ever was before. I also did a lot of work on myself and am happier as the result. Our bond and intimacy is much stronger and my self esteem is at an all time high. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

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Is Email Harassment Illegal?

Not so long ago, a girl committed suicide because of messages that she was getting through the popular social networking site MySpace. This does not mean that MySpace is evil, but hopefully it was a wake up call for parents to know what their children are doing online, even if they feel they are being snoopy. Though you may not think of messages through MySpace as being email, they are. Not everyone behaves online, and there are times when email addresses can be harassing in nature, and even dangerous.

The nature of email makes it possible for people to think they are sending out messages that are anonymous, but that is rarely the case. There are some that know how to do this, but most Internet users have no idea. They just assume leaving their name off of an account means they are untraceable. That is simply not true, as many people have found out. They may feel free to send messages that are sinister and harassing in nature because they think no one will know who they are.

Though the line between a heated and illegal email is gray, and not all locations or jurisdictions with the US have the same laws, there are some that are definitely illegal. Some districts have deemed anything harassing to be illegal, no matter if it is going through phone lines, mail letters, electronic communications, or in person. Those that have this type of harassment in mind often use email because they think it is hard to trace. With the law on someone's side, a lawyer can get a service provider to hand over identifying information.

Is Email Harassment Illegal?

You may not know if a harassing email coming into your inbox is illegal where you live or not, but that does not mean you should not do something about it. You can try to find out about the laws where you live, and you can contact the authorities if you feel threatened in any way. You can also forward the email to your service provider, and then call them with an explanation to see if there is anything that they can do.

You may want to know who sent the email. You can find some limited information if you do a reverse email lookup Not all are traceable however. No matter what you find, do nothing with that information unless you want to turn it over to the authorities. Do not respond to such an email, and do not use what you find to contact the source of the email. You know who to avoid, if need be, but you don't want them to know you are on to them if they insist on remaining anonymous. Let the authorities deal with the problem for you.

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How To Flash A Phone To Cricket Or Metro PCs

Flash or Flashing--Technically, flashing refers to the overwriting or re-writing of the phone's firmware. There are many phones which can be flashed to cricket with all features working. On most CDMA phones, programming the phone can be done "over the air" by dialing a special code, usually *228 or some variation. Colloquially speaking, flashing can also loosely mean making a phone from one carrier work on another carrier. The easy way to tell the difference is that if your phone does NOT take a SIM card, then it is probably CDMA.

To flash a phone to cricket you will be overwriting th phones firmware. The firmware is software in the phone that doesn't change when you turn it off, and it cannot be deleted unless it is overwritten, hence flashed. It requires specific files called prl files.PRL or PRL File--Short for Preferred Roaming List--A small text file containing instructions for how a phone connects to a specific network's radio towers It is usually loaded by connecting the phone to a computer to overwrite its data. There are a few tools used such as a pst PST--Short for Phone Service Tool or Tools--Special software used by phone manufacturers to program their phones. And also a monster file - -"Monster File"/"Monster Pack", ROM, or "Kitchen"--System software that is needed to flash a phone.

In almost all case you will need to access the phones service programming menu- - -Service Programming Menu--A special menu typically hidden from the primary User Interface that allows for "deep programming" of a phone.You will also need access to msl and spc codes specific to the device you are flashing.MSL/SPC--Special six-digit codes needed to access service programming features on the phone. Access to the service programming menu can be disabled in a phone's firmware.

How To Flash A Phone To Cricket Or Metro PCs

Depending on your phone, it may require extra steps to unlock or get WAP and MMS working. That is why you need the msl/spc codes to allow deep programming to unlock these features. Not all phones will be capable to access wap or send and receive mms.

Ringtones generally have to be prepaid using a flex bucket. It is best to download ringtones before you flash your phone to cricket since they have a limited selection of ringtones and wallpapers.There are cases were flashed phones will not be able to download ringtones directly from cricket.

The details outlined above will not only work with cricket but you can also flash phones to metro pcs using the information provided above. It is best to do all your research before purchasing your phone to ensure that the cell phone you are interested in can be flashed to cricket or metro PCs.

How To Flash A Phone To Cricket Or Metro PCs
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This content is provided by Danny Sanchez. It may be used only in its entirety with all links included. For more information on furthering your college education, please visit http://collegeinformations.com

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The Top Twelve Threats No Computer User Should Ignore

The internet is undoubtedly a fantastic resource for families and offers a rich vein of educational content.

However, there are potential dangers - welcome to the seedy world of viruses, spam, trojans, pornography, spyware and other nasties.

These are the Top Twelve Threats No Computer User Should Ignore.

The Top Twelve Threats No Computer User Should Ignore

1. Viruses - A computer program that copies itself. They often disrupt your computer system or damage your data. Viruses are usually received by email attachments so be careful opening anything from a dubious source. They can affect anyone, for example, the destructive Mydoom worm affected one out of three small and mid-sized businesses.

2. Spyware - Sends information about you and your computer to somebody else. Spyware may send the addresses of sites you have visited or worse still, transmit personal information. With today's concerns about identify theft this is a real worry. For example, CoolWebSearch may hijack web searches, home page, and other Internet Explorer settings. Spyware is normally received as part of shareware or freeware downloaded from the web.

3. IP Spoofing - A technique to gain unauthorized access to computers, whereby the intruder sends messages to a computer with an address indicating that the message is coming from a trusted host.

4. Trojans - An apparently legitimate computer program that is really intended to disrupt and damage computer activity by sending information, perhaps even passwords onto a third party without you knowing. As an example, recent emails entitled "Osama Bin Laden Captured" attempted to download the "Trj/Small.B." Trojan if the embedded URL was clicked. This trojan attempts to hijack the PC.

5. Spam - Unsolicited mail often promoting products of a dubious financial or sexual nature. Don't leave your email address on websites and internet bulletin boards as they are harvested by spammers.

6. Adware - puts advertisements on your screen. These take many forms including popups, popunders and advertisements that appear later, even if your browser is closed. Some are sent using the Windows Messenger service which allows a spammer to direct an advertisement straight to your computer by sequentially sending messages to IP addresses. Always irritating, they are also often of a pornographic nature.

7. Diallers - for those of us still with dial up modems, dialler programs redirect calls to a very expensive number. You won't know until you get the bill.

8. Hijackers - Hijackers take control of your web browser and may reset your home page, search bar and search pages. They can redirect you to undesirable sites or stop you going to particular sites.

9. Hackers - With so much personal data available online to anyone with a password you must be sure your password is secure. If you are using your mother's maiden name, your cat's name or your birthday then your password is at risk. Here are two tips for making a secure password. Method One - pick two random unrelated three letter words and two digits. Mix them up and what do you have? A secure password such as "red19cat" or "hotpin73". Method Two - pick a short sequence of words such as Now Is The Winter Of Our Discontent Made Glorious' and you have a password of "nitwoodmg". You could even change the I's and O's to digits.

10. Phishing - Emails purporting to come from reliable sources such as Paypal, eBay or your bank. Often wanting you to verify your account details, they can look very realistic but are generally scams to harvest usernames and passwords. Always open a new browser winder and type the address there, rather than clicking on the link provided.

11. Hoaxes - Chain letters, scams, false alarms. At best they take up time and bandwidth but at worst vulnerable can be victims of fraud. Pass it on!

12. Stranger-danger - For those of us with children - do you know what they actually do when they are online? Are they working on homework tasks, downloading illegal music or pornography? Or are they chatting to strangers in chat rooms? You should consider blocking access to undesirable sites and logging their activity with a surveillance tool. Oh, and don't forget that where children are concerned, computers should always be kept in a family room and never in their bedroom.

Three Step Action Plan

There are three basic, essential steps that should be taken to ensure your PC is kept threat-free.

Firstly , be sensible when opening attachments or following email instructions from apparently reputable sites.

Secondly , make sure you are using the latest service pack of Windows as Microsoft is continually closing loopholes to tighten up security.

Finally, there's a range of low cost tools such as firewalls, antivirus, spam blockers and spyware killers available. Like everything else they vary in quality and you tend to get what you pay for so always do your research first and perhaps try a free trial before getting your credit card out.

The Top Twelve Threats No Computer User Should Ignore
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The author, Kai Chandler, edits http://www.surfcontrols.com which specializes in providing reviews and recommendations of top-rated tools to help protect your online experience.

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How to Deal With Threatening Email Messages

Email is used to communicate through the Internet, and though it is the preferred choice of communication for many today, it has its pitfalls. One would be that if an email is lost, you may never know it. Another is spam, and though that is annoying, it is often not threatening. However, there may come a time when an email does come into your inbox that threatens you in some way. When that happens, you have to know what to do about it.

The most important things to remember when you get threatening emails is that you should not delete them and you should never respond to them. If you respond, you are giving the matter the attention the sender wants. If you delete it, you have no proof that you have received anything. These are sometimes saved on email providers servers, but it is hard to get them to give them up, and the process can take a while.

The next thing you should do it to print out the entire email, headers included. The headers are important because the information contained within can be used to trace the email back to the person that sent it. Take your print out and go to the police to file a report. If you get more, do the same thing. If you can, do the same with the FBI. This is actually a Federal crime.

How to Deal With Threatening Email Messages

You may also want to forward a copy of the email to your Internet provider and the email service you use, if the two are different. You should also send the entire email (again, headers included) to the email provider from which the email was sent. No matter who you have sent this to and how many times you have printed the email out, still refrain from deleting. If you don't want to look at it, make a folder in your email account to file it away for later use, if needed.

You can also find some tools that will help you trace the origin of threatening emails if that is something you feel you should do. If it ends up being someone in your town or someone that you know, it is a good idea to avoid them. You can't do that if you don't know who they are. However, no matter what you find, do not contact the person in any way. Take what you have found to the police.

How to Deal With Threatening Email Messages
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Lindsay has been writing about web applications for 4 years and is tracking the latest trends in web development. You can check out her latest project at http://www.reverseemaildetective.com

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Spam, What is It Good For, Absolutely Nothing!

Unsolicited Commercial Email (UCE), or spam has reached epidemic proportions, and continues to grow. According to American Online, of the estimated 30 million email messages each day, about 30% on average was unsolicited commercial email. As a result of its very low marginal costs, spam has become extremely prolific. Regardless of how many emails are sent out, the spammers' costs are low, and constant. With numbers like these, there is a tremendous burden shifted to the Internet Service Provider (ISP) to process and store that amount of data. Huge volumes of this junk may undoubtedly contribute to many of the access, speed, and reliability problems suffered by many ISPs. Further, many large ISPs have experienced major system outages as the result of massive junk email campaigns. Spam is an issue about consent, not content. Regardless of whether the UCE message is an advertisement, porn, or a winning lottery notice, the content is irrelevant. If the message was sent unsolicited, and in bulk then the message is spam.

This junk e-mail is more than just annoying; it costs Internet users, and Internet-based businesses millions, even billions, per year. When a spammer sends an email message to a million people, it is carried by numerous electronic systems on route to its destination. The systems in between are bearing the burden of carrying advertisements, and other unsolicited junk for the spammer. The number of spams sent out each day is truly overwhelming, and each one must be handled efficiently, and expeditiously by many systems. There is no justification for forcing third parties to bear the load of unsolicited advertising. Ultimately, these costs are passed on to YOU, the consumer.

Spam originates in one of two ways, it is sent directly by the spammer from and under their control, or via illegal third party exploitation such as open proxies or open relays. Spammers get your address in a variety of ways. If you sign up for, and provide your email address, these seemingly friendly sites can turn around and sell your email to advertisers. Additionally, if you have your email address on a Web page, it is easy for unscrupulous advertisers to "harvest" it, and add you to their lists.

Spam, What is It Good For, Absolutely Nothing!

There are ways to reduce the number of spam messages, however it is presently impossible to stop them all. Spam filters, are software applications that redirect emails based on the presence of certain common phrases, or words. These automated measures are prone to being defeated by clever spammers. Additionally, there is a risk of important emails being deleted as spam. In 2003, Congress passed a sweeping law, CAN-SPAM act of 2003, which basically prohibits the use of deceptive subject lines and false headers in all emails. Additionally, the FTC is authorized (but not required) to establish a do-not-email registry. The CAN-SPAM Act took effect on January 1, 2004.

Spam is based on theft of service; it wastes time, money, and other resources. Spam can and will overwhelm your electronic mail box if it isn't fought. Over time, unless the growth of spam isn't stopped, it will destroy the usefulness and effectiveness of email as a communication tool.

Spam, What is It Good For, Absolutely Nothing!
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Jay B Stockman is a contributing editor for Spam Blocker Software Solutions Visit http://spam-blockeronline.com/ for more information.

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